Doing my HBE homework... here's a song I've been writing for some time now... hopefully it'll get the cut.
I've gone to 2 funerals this month... funny... i saw long lost friends... hoping my funerals not the last time I see all my friends in one place... make amends everyone... lifes too short.
Another Tear in The Rift
Won't you explain to me how we've driven to separate ends
Too proud too proud too proud to put your arms down would put your arms down
The battle has been done, but the truth no one has won
The silence in between is deafening
The lies have crossed the line it seems
And oh, how did it get this far
We are all so different now or so we think
But what's the difference in refusing to speak
All this moments of clarity will help us draw the line
The casualties, the spoken needs, the damage will subside
And oh remember love when it was far too much to hold
can we repair another tear
And oh remember life when it was larger than us both
can we repair another tear
Take a long deep breathe
Leave you baggage by the door
Cause there's no more space for pride or prejudice here anymore
Sure we've made mistakes.
but don't we all? don't we stumble? don't we fall?
(I'm) sure we've realized now, no ones in the right to say who's wrong
Can't we all just settle down and just begin to live again
without the blame without the pain without the world in flames
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
When All Else Fails
An angered truth
a staggered patience
a twisted view
incapacitated
Before you find your aim
before the gunshots find the blame
take another look
A paraplegic
with narcolepsy
The golden bastard who smiles in shame
The friend who turns to rust and blade
Before you run the cuts across your wrist
before you end the start of this
take another look
When all else fails
When all else fails
Who will?
Have you taken time to scrutinize yourself
Who will?
Have you took the time to change you mind
Who will?
A dying friend
a staggered patience
a twisted view
incapacitated
Before you find your aim
before the gunshots find the blame
take another look
A paraplegic
with narcolepsy
The golden bastard who smiles in shame
The friend who turns to rust and blade
Before you run the cuts across your wrist
before you end the start of this
take another look
When all else fails
When all else fails
Who will?
Have you taken time to scrutinize yourself
Who will?
Have you took the time to change you mind
Who will?
A dying friend
Monday, June 9, 2008
Breathing in Tones
It began more than a decade ago with a 4:26 minute video entitled 'Tomorrow'. Barely into my teens, Daniel, Ben and Chris, walking an empty train track, somewhere in the outback, with their long grunge hair, became my epitome of rock and roll. It had such an impact on me, rhetorics like "You think that money isn't everything, but I'd like to see you live without it" became my way of thinking. Soon enough, I was a rebel, or at least that's how I saw myself.
It would be a tough decade for my single mother, as she would try to raise me as best she could, while I would make it nearly impossible. Not a day goes by without me looking back remorseful and guilty for what I had put her through, but the times were tough and rock and roll, as it has and still does for many, became my bridge through adolescence.
In 1995, not only did I fall in love with rock and roll, I wanted to live, eat and breath it. I would like to think that I still do.
At 17, I found with unkempt purple hair, a black hoodie, tattered slacks and samba's, screaming profanities for a band called Edicius. Troubled as I had been then, it felt befitting to be in a band whose name was Suicide in reverse. We'd go on to make ripples in our hometown and soon be playing in a bar called Club Cellar.
If I'm not mistaken, it was every Friday, and the show was called "Theater of Pain".
Club Cellar closed in late 2000, I had dropped out of school and had nothing but the band going for me. We tried to keep at it, but frustrated as we were, with no real direction, the band slowly fell apart. A few fights and that was the end of it, Edicius committed its not so peotic suicide.
It took a while to put the pieces back together. But it doesn't matter how long you get back on the horse, as long as you do. I remember the advice well enough. After a few months of reflection, I'd decided to give school a second try.
It wasn't long till the lure of music came knocking again, in early 2002, back with familiar faces, we would form what would later be known as Hardboiledeggz. After all the heartaches and maladies of past, I decided to take on a better perspective. I'd promised myself to keep on the right track as much as I could.
We'd start on to try with originals, and pit them into competitions that if not broke your heart, made you want to do better. We'd navigate through twists and turns and almost give up. Losing 2 members a long the way.
It was in 2005 when we decided that we'd have to try harder. We began a ten song independent album, which in 2006 was released with only four tracks.
Later that year by some wicked twist of fate those four songs won us the Redhorse Muziklaban Competition, after almost a decade of wanting to make a dent, we'd finally made a shadow of it.
We'd go on to record 6 songs under our new label and release it into the national scene. For two years at most we've been playing dizzy gigs outside our small city, and slowly got acquainted with the metro and its scene. It was all too fast to take in, and soon enough, we were burnt out.
Four boys in one house for 11 months isn't the brightest idea in the universe. We got on each other's nerves, began small quarells, until things got out of hand, and finally we moved out.
It would be an awakening for me.
A decade after falling in love with rock and roll, I found myself disillusioned by it. There was little of the luxury left, and we'd come to realize, that far as we'd come, but not too far, there was more of it to go. The label wanted this, we wanted that, the critics wanted this, we wanted else, people loved us, people hated us, we love and hated each other, it became apparent to me that to continue on with this, I had to make amends with what I saw when I first decided this is what I wanted.
Last year, I headed back home. People say to see where you are you have to look back. So I did.
And true enough, I saw, and decided, it was time to see things differently cause the way you saw it made all the difference. The labels and industry saw it as a business, we saw it as a dream, some as a way of living or a way to make a living. My rude awakening pointed me in a new direction. Making music is a beautiful thing, it is my passion, I would not trade it for anything, but 2 years into the scene has revealed it more as a corporate product than what it should be. And its hard to put it in the center of your world, when all of us need something to live off. Making music here in the Philippines is tough, unless your willing to dance at the crack of their whip.
Long as it will take, with a label or not, I will continue to make music. The biggest compromise I guess is, that unlike most western rockstars, I will have to, like many Filipino musicians, keep a day job. After a decade of falling in love with rock and roll, I still am, but like long marriages, we begin to see things differently. I've seen it's good and bad, and will see more of it. But like a good husband, I will still love it the same and expect nothing in return.
It would be a tough decade for my single mother, as she would try to raise me as best she could, while I would make it nearly impossible. Not a day goes by without me looking back remorseful and guilty for what I had put her through, but the times were tough and rock and roll, as it has and still does for many, became my bridge through adolescence.
In 1995, not only did I fall in love with rock and roll, I wanted to live, eat and breath it. I would like to think that I still do.
At 17, I found with unkempt purple hair, a black hoodie, tattered slacks and samba's, screaming profanities for a band called Edicius. Troubled as I had been then, it felt befitting to be in a band whose name was Suicide in reverse. We'd go on to make ripples in our hometown and soon be playing in a bar called Club Cellar.
If I'm not mistaken, it was every Friday, and the show was called "Theater of Pain".
Club Cellar closed in late 2000, I had dropped out of school and had nothing but the band going for me. We tried to keep at it, but frustrated as we were, with no real direction, the band slowly fell apart. A few fights and that was the end of it, Edicius committed its not so peotic suicide.
It took a while to put the pieces back together. But it doesn't matter how long you get back on the horse, as long as you do. I remember the advice well enough. After a few months of reflection, I'd decided to give school a second try.
It wasn't long till the lure of music came knocking again, in early 2002, back with familiar faces, we would form what would later be known as Hardboiledeggz. After all the heartaches and maladies of past, I decided to take on a better perspective. I'd promised myself to keep on the right track as much as I could.
We'd start on to try with originals, and pit them into competitions that if not broke your heart, made you want to do better. We'd navigate through twists and turns and almost give up. Losing 2 members a long the way.
It was in 2005 when we decided that we'd have to try harder. We began a ten song independent album, which in 2006 was released with only four tracks.
Later that year by some wicked twist of fate those four songs won us the Redhorse Muziklaban Competition, after almost a decade of wanting to make a dent, we'd finally made a shadow of it.
We'd go on to record 6 songs under our new label and release it into the national scene. For two years at most we've been playing dizzy gigs outside our small city, and slowly got acquainted with the metro and its scene. It was all too fast to take in, and soon enough, we were burnt out.
Four boys in one house for 11 months isn't the brightest idea in the universe. We got on each other's nerves, began small quarells, until things got out of hand, and finally we moved out.
It would be an awakening for me.
A decade after falling in love with rock and roll, I found myself disillusioned by it. There was little of the luxury left, and we'd come to realize, that far as we'd come, but not too far, there was more of it to go. The label wanted this, we wanted that, the critics wanted this, we wanted else, people loved us, people hated us, we love and hated each other, it became apparent to me that to continue on with this, I had to make amends with what I saw when I first decided this is what I wanted.
Last year, I headed back home. People say to see where you are you have to look back. So I did.
And true enough, I saw, and decided, it was time to see things differently cause the way you saw it made all the difference. The labels and industry saw it as a business, we saw it as a dream, some as a way of living or a way to make a living. My rude awakening pointed me in a new direction. Making music is a beautiful thing, it is my passion, I would not trade it for anything, but 2 years into the scene has revealed it more as a corporate product than what it should be. And its hard to put it in the center of your world, when all of us need something to live off. Making music here in the Philippines is tough, unless your willing to dance at the crack of their whip.
Long as it will take, with a label or not, I will continue to make music. The biggest compromise I guess is, that unlike most western rockstars, I will have to, like many Filipino musicians, keep a day job. After a decade of falling in love with rock and roll, I still am, but like long marriages, we begin to see things differently. I've seen it's good and bad, and will see more of it. But like a good husband, I will still love it the same and expect nothing in return.
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